i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
