WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
