She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
