he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
