all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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