Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
