i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize