Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
