why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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