No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
