Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
