I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
