I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize