I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just had sex on a roof
Randomize
