so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
