yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
