OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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