its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
