i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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