last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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