When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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