Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
