Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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