I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
