i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
