i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
FUCK WHALES
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
