even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
