I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
