well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize