I wish my penis had an off switch
420 ftw
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
