I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
