I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I have post one night stand depression
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
