Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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