are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
