But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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