why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
the liver wants what the liver wants
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
