i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
