yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
There's even glitter on my cock...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
