how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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