your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize