Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
