3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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