Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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