Did you just see the Batmobile???
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
