toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize