Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
