So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
