I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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