I can't watch pbs sober anymore
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
