Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
