I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
