Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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