My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
