Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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