got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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