forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize