Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
