Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
