Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
