guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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