Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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