I think I died a long time ago.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i believe in u and ur pee
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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