3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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