Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you traded sex for a burrito?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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