I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
