I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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