I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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