The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
