where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this will be a night to untag.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize