id be glad to
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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